I know I have been writing a lot lately, mostly to entertain myself during the quiet parts of my work day. However, Carrie's blog gave me an idea. I am publishing, for the greater good, and in a much more condensed version, my "I can't believe that movie stole two hours of my life that I can't get back, I'VE BEEN ROBBED!!" list. Like Carrie, I'll spoil the ending, so don't continue, if you have some sadistic desire to waste your life watching this, even though you've been forewarned.-"Lord of War" It seems that Nicolas Cage can make a good movie about once every 5 years, and this was somewhere in the middle of that time. Between it's graphic, adulturous, sex scenes, to it's completely senseless violence, to it's condoning of essentially raping third world nations in order to make money off their internal turmoil, there's about 10 minutes of a good story idea gone bad. Really bad. It's a manipulative attempt to push a political agenda and make you upset and disgusted, and basically ends with the idea that "You know what's worse than the horrific carnage that we just condoned? George Bush and the good ol' USA do the same thing." It's politically slanted, and not even entertaining. You will keep waiting for it to redeem itself, and you will be disappointed.
-"Unfaithful" I like Richard Gere. I like most of his movies. I thought, for whatever reason, a momentary lapse of rational thought, that again, this movie would redeem itself. And I thought that the "other man" was great looking. He is, but trust me folks, you will see so much of him with an older woman no less, that you will literally feel as though you're watching porn. Because you are. The ending, is not one at all. Richard kills the other man with a snowglobe (eh?) and buries him, gets caught, and the movie ends on him and his 'wife' (aka. Whore legally bound to him by a marriage certificate) contemplating taking their poor five year old son to Mexico and hiding out. There's about 20 minutes of dead silence as they ponder this in their car as a light changes green to red again and again, and then the credits roll. You keep hoping a semi will speed through the intersection and kill them both, but alas, no happy ending here folks.
-"Open Water" Peter wanted to watch a real shark movie. So we did. Luckily, on TV so at least we didn't pay for it. The premise, a couple goes scuba diving in the Carribbean and while they're under, the boat leaves. They spend almost a whole day in the terrifying shark-infested water, and I fully believed, along with Peter that they get rescued. Different story, not to be confused with this horrible, nausea-inducing piece of crap. They get chased by sharks, stung by jellyfish, and have lovely fights, as they're both dying in the water. The guy goes first, and she shows so little emotion, I didn't even get it until she pushes him away from her and sits twenty feet from his body, while sharks rip it apart. Wait, it gets better. She then kills herself. She takes a deep breath and sinks under the water. Now, I've never killed myself before, but somehow, I don't think that you can drown yourself. I've heard that right before you die, you have the most overwhelming urge to live, and unless you have done something to counteract that, like tie a rock to your foot, you'd swim up eventually. Guess not. Terrible. You hate the people so much that when they die, you're almost relieved.
There you go. Feel free to post some for me. I usually believe most people about movies, and have no problem abstaining from some if you think I'd be happier that way.
One more thing, if this blog has left a bad taste in your mouth (just be thankful 6 hours wasn't wasted as well!), visit this link.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/happyfeet/
Watch the trailers. I can't wait for this movie, just watching the trailers makes me laugh. I've watched them again and again.
2:07 PM
Glad for the deads up. I really wanted to watch Open Water. It looked so good. I can't say I have watched any sick movies lately that I could warn you about. Of course I don't really watch that many movies at all. Have you seen Dreamer yet? That is a very good family movie.
2:08 PM
sorry... heads up.
2:13 PM
Wedding Crashers. That's all I'm gonna say cause I don't want to waste any more time on it.
4:02 PM
I've heard that too. Very funny, if you can get past all the garbage in it, which I couldn't do. I won't see that one either. No, I haven't seen Dreamer. I'm trying to both the XMen movies before going to see the new one this weekend.
9:48 PM
I haven't watched a lot of movies lately either. Although, by watching the movie Carrie mentioned the other night, we did discover the Video on Demand. That is a really cool idea. You can rent the movie, and you have it for 24 hours. You can rewidn, fast-forward, even stop it, and then resume it later. And if you are watching a really good movie, you can watch it over and over if you want. And all cheaper than renting it from Pay per View. ( I am just sorry that for horrible movies, they don't have an erase-this-movie-from-your-memory function. :)
7:46 AM
Wedding Crashers. I watched it, was disgusted, took it back, got a new movie for free. I just got a new movie from my friend Judy who is visiting from Sask. Mark Lowry in Hollywood. HILARIOUS!!!! If you want to watch it, make an appiontment for coffee at my house and we can watch it together. I also want to see Xmen III. I will rent Dreamer this weekend. Happily, I have not and will not see any of the movies you reviewed, Mel.
10:11 AM
So I've looked up a Christian movie review site, well, a few actually, and to find one that isn't so conservative -that all I'll go see this summer is Over the Hedge, but be careful, Billy the squirrel gets bonked in the head and this may not be suitable...blah blah - is difficult. This one is a little more realistic, and I read a couple reviews from movies I'd seen, and they're pretty close, with violence, sex/nudity content, language etc warnings. It's called crosswalk.com and a great non-Christian one is rottentomatoes.com.
10:39 PM
Oh, goodness... yes, the "This movie wasted my life" list... I have some of those... I could pretty much agree with most of your what you said... Lord of War was... odd... there was something trying to be told there, I thought, and it just didn't happen... As for the other two, I never felt the need to see them, and I likely never will... Unfaithful... that just sounds like soft-core porn attempting to be passed off as a meaningful movie... and Open Water just seemed like a lame Jaws want-to-be movie... I can't really think of any movies right now... but a really great site is Flixster.com, where you can give movies your star ratings, and right reviews, and share them with your friends... I love it... This is me:
http://mmmcheezy.flixster.com
10:59 PM
10:06 AM
10:10 AM
I have this issue with movies with an agenda. Take Bridges of Madison County. I loved and hated it. Great story, that makes you want to condone adultury. You cry your eyes out when she says goodbye to her exotic lover to stay with her boring fat husband. And then you feel like crap. I liked the idea behind Lord of War, but the attempt to disgust you and leave you with the comment about the US was slanted and manipulative. Some parts were good, the cinematography (how DO you spell that?) for example. But again, don't try and push your views on me in a roundabout way. A movie exists to entertain me, thats why I pay money for it. Don't come into my living room, and try to manipulate me into thinking a certain way. If I wanted a documentary, or a slanted statement on the USA, I know where to find one. I wanted an entertaing Nick Cage movie. This is why I was mostly dissappointed. The sex scene with the African woman when he was stoned out of his mind, and screaming after her, "AIDS? DO YOU HAVE AIDS?" and then being a girl, and thinking about him going home to sleep with his wife, giving her some sick disease and orphaning their innocent little boy, didn't do a lot for me either. Like I said, 10 minutes of a good idea, about 1 hour 40 minutes of crap. With a political agenda no less. Sorry Trav, I'm just a girl, as they say, I guess things appear a little differently to me. I wanted Nick to die in that one. I liked Colin Ferral's character was great though. Okay, way too long of a comment, and on my own blog no less.
8:24 AM
Lord of war, I'd agree with Mel, was really bad.
Another one, Forgotten, I thought it was going to be great and then they threw the supernatural, aliens in there and wrecked the whole movie.
2:20 PM
i kind of enjoyed lord of war. i liked the "rags to riches" aspect of his story, even though it was through a gun smuggling racket. it left me feeling empty afterward though, no substance to chew on really that i haven't already been fed.
2:25 PM
i watched munich the other day and really enjoyed it! the violence was a bit gratuitous, but the way the characters are shown as real people on both sides of the conflict was interesting. it left me feeling like there's no real reason to ever blow anybody up.
5:38 AM