That's what they say, anyway. If home is where the heart is, then I'm in serious trouble. I've left my heart all over the place, even in San Francisco, though I was only there two days. That's the trouble with me perhaps. I don't know where I belong anymore, I feel connected to places I may never be again, and to places I haven't gone yet. 
I feel connected here. This is the Tetons, I was there just a few weeks ago. I feel connected to this annoying little town I hate, where I've lived for nearly a year. I know the best place to get what groceries, the best place to eat. I know street names, and directions. I live here. My license plate is marked Gillette. Yipes. When we leave to come back to Canada, I will miss some things here. I like sitting on my inlaws deck, watching the storms. I like going to the gym with our friends, and grabbing dinner afterward. I like playing with my niece. 
I feel connected here, to a village in Nepal. I think I've actually been right here. I know people in these little towns, I know their names. One of them, I led to Christ over some chai. I've walked those long uphill trails, I've watched the Jesus film holding their children. One child in this town, found me alone in the woods, and taught me to make a grass whistle. We never spoke a word to each other, but we laughed a lot. I became an adult in Nepal, and faced some of my worst fears. This is where I developed the introverted side of me that I still cling to. Something that's just mine. Nepal gave me that, and the ability to not only like being alone, but the knowledge that it's necessary. This is the only place I've been, where I still struggle to explain all that I saw and went through. Nepal holds secrets for me. 
This is the Old Airport Beach in Kailua-Kona, where I lived for nearly two years. I've sat on this beach and watched the sun go down here numerous times. I've had small group meetings here. I had a barbeque right here one night, and my guy friend asked me while I was grilling some steak, "Mel, are you attracted to Pete?". I told him I didn't know, and then, I didn't. Now we're married and I want to go sit on this beach with him again. I want Thai food from the restaurant here. I loved this little town. I loved racing my little moped up and down the old airstrip. 
I miss people in India. I've been three times, and never been to the TajMahal. There's a little girl who sells postcards in Varanasi, in a pink dress I bought her. We fought off some bullies together one day, who were annoying her. I taught her to say "get lost" in English. I promised to send her a postcard, and never did. Maybe I still will. There's an old man in a Mother Teresa Home, that had no legs, that I "danced" with once a week. The only thing he had to his name, was a cot in a room with no walls. He smiled a lot, and wanted me to take him back to Canada with me. As did the orphans I held there, and a little demon possessed boy I prayed with there, and left screaming on the stairs as I drove away. You can't keep your heart in places like these.
I miss Kyoto, Japan. I found a little bit of myself in Japan, wandering through Kyoto, trying not to get high on the opium and incense burning everwhere. I've also stood right here, staring at this temple, with a million other tourists, but everyone is quiet in these places. I love the Japanese people, and there is something truly mystical about Kyoto, it's a piece of an ancient world, surrounded by all that is modern and advanced. It reminds me to hold on to some things, not to trade everything in for something else, simply because it's new, or seems more convenient, or grown up. 
And this is one of my favorite spots at my favorite time of day. I've come here at all different times in my life, with different people, and just don't have one bad or difficult memory of this place. Peter and I set sail from here on our honeymoon. I've gone for dessert and drinks in the Bengal Lounge in the Empress, and listened to live jazz. I've fallen over laughing on the lawn of that hotel, at something Peter said. I've hung out with Lindsay and Loren here. My parents took me here when I was young. I think, nearly everyone I really truly love to be with, has been here with me at one point or another. Part of me really belongs in BC, there's something about the island, that gives me an, "I was created for this place" feeling.Peter and I want to live here. And I can't get a visa in the States, for love nor money. Well, money maybe, but not an amount that I have. We're coming back in October and getting Peter his permanent resident status (faster, easier, and cheaper). And then we'll go back to ywam for a while before coming and setting in here for a bit. I will never settle down, I will travel, as will our children. There's something about seeing different parts of the world that gives you a gift you can't get from anything else. I want my kids to experience this. But it takes something from you. I'm connected everywhere, and nowhere. I don't know what feeling "at home" is. I don't know where I'm from.
I guess, the place that is most home to me, is Peter. In most of these places, I see exotic pictures of things, but remember people. I hope I pass this on. I'm coming to another round of goodbyes in my life, which I hate, and for the amount that I've said, am really, really bad at. But I have Peter with me, and in that way, it's kind of like having home with you all the time. I get nostalgic when I leave places, sorry for the long and sappy post.
12:22 PM
I wish I had a chance to travel like you have. Even though I have lived in SK, and AB, and BC I will always call SK home. I guess cause that is where I spent a majority of my life and where I have the most memories.
I can't say I would ever want to go back, but for now, SK is home.
And you are right, home is where ever you make it.
4:35 PM
Isn't my new blog pretty?! Yay Claudia, nice work, I love it!!! And I even got to add my links! It's awesome, couldn't be happier with it. No more boring green blog for me!
5:10 PM
I am so glad that you have been able to go to all the places you have and I am thankful me and dad could provide that great opportunity for you. Maybe you are the few that can honestly say' This world is not my home..I'm just passing through'. It makes me feel kind of strange to think that people all over the world have such fond memories of my little girl. Very strange. ( I LOVE your blog)
8:51 AM
I love your new blog. I also love your new post. I agree with your mom in that it is a bit wierd thinking that people in India and Japan actually had tea with a member of my family. I would have loved to do what you have opportunity to do, but since I never had the chance I live vicariously through yours, Leah's, and Jen's adventures. Who knows, maybe some day I will have an adventure of my own. I don't know what God has in store for me yet. I just know that I always wanted to do overseas missions with kids.
11:02 AM
Forgot to mention that the blog looks great. I think Claudia could be busy for a while. :)
1:31 PM
Ohh, I love this post. I totally agree, home is where the heart is, that's why I always visit my folks! :P
Glad you love the layout! ... I want to make more :P
2:11 PM
I love the new layout, Mel, Claudia did an amazing job, as always.
I wish I had the chance to travel as much as you have, I envy that of you. I've never even left Canada, and have only visited three provinces, and lived in all three as well. Next year hopefully I'll be taking the opportunity to go somewhere new and exciting and hopefully out of Canada... I'll have a good excuse.
11:02 AM
Nice blog! I am glad you love your life Melanie. I can't imagine going through life not enjoying where I am or who I'm with. A lot of people don't.
Mel, I hope you and Peter come and visit once you are both truly Canadian again.
Love and Prayers
Auntie Sue