There should be a word for it....

9.15.2006 11:50 AM 11 2009 Melanie
You know that feeling when something makes you so angry but half of the reason you're really mad is that you're trying not to cry about it, since deep down you know it's not as big a deal as you're making it? If you're a guy, I've likely lost you by now, so don't worry about it. What do you call that feeling? I'm not furious, I'm not depressed, but I'm a bit of both. The half that's angry is angry mostly because I'm so sad about this, and the half that's sad is sad that something like this could actually make me angry. I remember in the counselling course I took, whenever you felt something extreme over something little, you had to chart it, and to do that you had to accurately name exactly how you felt. They gave you a huge long sheet of feeling words to help you. This feeling wasn't on there.
Here's what happened. For our wedding as a gift from some people who couldn't be there, we got a gift certificate to this hotel, for one night, and a dinner in the hotel. Well, next week, we have to go right to where the hotel is, for a wedding. Most people are tenting it, but ask any woman how she gets ready for a wedding in a tent and she'll look at you as though you're either stupid, or mean for trying to play a cruel trick on her. We were going to use our certificate. We've also been living with Peter's parents for over two weeks, and I've gone from having about 950 square feet of personal space, to a bedrooms worth. I'm a big girl, I'm adapting, I'm fine - for crying out loud, I lived in YWAM for two years where the absolute most personal space I had was a bed and a dresser. The floor around my bed? Fair game. Occasionally I would find someone on my bed. I lived, and it was the best time of my life. But oh, how I was looking forward to two nights in a hotel with just Peter and a romantic dinner alone.
We called to book today, and they're full. I'm tenting it. For a wedding. In the middle of September in most northern part of Minnesota. I'm feeling that feeling that I can't describe. Part of me is so mad that we didn't just book earlier, that we needed more info from others before we could do that, I hate everyone staying in that hotel for those two nights. We know the people that own the hotel so we're going to try calling them, giving them our cell number and begging them to call us if there's a cancellation. We'll see but I'm not getting my hopes up. I will look like a shaggy freezing idiot meeting a lot of Peter's extended family. Fan-freaking-tastic.
Just for added spite, here's some pictures of the hotel. I'm going to go cry for ten minutes, and then, as my mother says, put on my big-girl panties and deal with it. Blast and Wretch.

7 Response to "There should be a word for it...."

  1. Unknown Says:

    Dude, that pretty much sucks. Maybe you should randomly pick a room number at the hotel and write really threatening letters to the people staying in that room. Maybe they'll be so frightened they'll leave, and then voila, you'll have a nice place to stay. I think it's a good idea. I can help you. I can be threatening and nasty. Kind of.

  2. Carol Says:

    That is too bad the hotel is full. Maybe you should go and eat in the hotel a few days before, then throw something disgusting in the meal, and complain like crazy...tell them you won't accept anything less than a few night's stay at the hotel!!

  3. Anonymous Says:

    I agree with Becky. You should tent it. I mean really! Look at that dump. I can't beleive someone actually gave you that for a wedding gift. Did they hate you?? Go with the tent. I tell ya!!
    Mom

  4. Margaret Says:

    Hey, I tented on Lasqueti Island for 2 nights with 4 kids. Every morning I got up and everyone that saw me first thing in the morning couldn't believe how gorgeous I looked for having slept in a tent. Something happens to women when they sleep in a tent. They just get more beautiful.
    Now, if you believe that, I have some fruit to sell you.

  5. Toad Says:

    lol @ auntie margaret. too funny.

    i agree. tenting is awesome.

    if this helps remember in pride and predjudice when she takes a walk to see her sick sister. and he says how great she looks and they fall in love cause he's captivated by her fresh beauty. yeah, that's you and then tent.

  6. Anonymous Says:

    Melanie! I can't believe I actually found you! I was starting to believe that knowing you and peter was just an extremely good dream. I am SO blessed to know that you guys are happily married and doing so well. I've thought about you guys so much in these past couple of years and couldn't figure out how to find you. Today I just decided to google it. Creepy, I know...but effective! I am so happy right now. My e-mail is mallo777@aol.com, if you get the chance.

    So Much Love,
    Mallory

  7. Melanie Says:

    I'm so happy to!! I'm going to fire off an e mail to you today!
    For everyone else, Mallory was a good friend of Peter's and mine in Kona, who we haven't spoken to in forever.