Day Four: A Song That Makes You Sad
How Great Thou Art
Carrie Underwood
I wasn't there when Grandpa died. I miss him all the time. I dreamed about him a couple nights ago, and he was taking some new Parkinson's medication that gave him purple blotches on his skin, and randomly, his nose turned purple and he was laughing with me and making fun of himself. He clenched his shaking fists and said, "Well, I took a good bop to the nose, but you should see the other guy!" and I laughed. I could hear his voice and his laugh, and I grabbed his old bicep and felt how frail he was getting through that brown plaid dress shirt he used to wear. Stupid medicine. Stupid vivid dreams. It was so real. I haven't had that clear a dream about Grandpa since he died.
I think all the time about how at the end of his life he was so grateful for all that God had done for him. He was such a great man. He had great kids, and grandkids, and I don't even see them all as much as I'd like. He married a really wonderful woman who I love with all my heart, and I keep kicking myself for not asking her more about her life before we all came into it. What do we talk about with her? I don't want those stories to go away. I think I'm going to get a little tape recorder and start taping her talking about them - one day we're all going to want this written down. She told me one day about her and grandpa's first kiss. It's a great story. Like something out of a book, probably by Lori Wick.
This song also makes me sad, because I really don't follow in Grandpa's footsteps the way I wish I did. I want to leave a legacy like that for my daughter too, and to make how he lived mean something....
Maybe it wasn't a good idea to have wine while I did this?
9:26 PM
I never had a really close relationship with Grandpa, which makes me extra sad, because we lived in the same town as them for a lot of my life.
I don't know what else to say. That song makes me sad, too.
4:22 PM
I felt like crying when listening to the song and reading your words. Love it very much
4:23 PM
Time for a happy song so I can get back to studying!... My choice? The crazy song with the Clown haha