I miss you.

11.02.2009 4:01 PM 11 2009 Melanie
I miss everyone. I can't tell you how badly I wanted to come for the funeral. Not the funeral, I hate funerals, though I heard this one was amazing. I wanted to be with my family in a difficult time. It's been five years this fall since I've been there. Think of all that has happened to you Saskatchewan folks in five years! I've missed births, deaths, weddings.

I'd have been there except for Bella's immune system. I just couldn't take her on a plane. And she had doctors appointments and all sorts of crap to do here. But I so wanted to be there. This year, I'm coming. If it's for the family reunion that I hear rumors of, or just to come - I want to do it.

I've never met either of Cindi's kids, or Jen's or Amy's. I met Ben when he was really little, and don't know Sam or Hannah. I've never met Johnny's wife Melissa, though I blog stalk her a little bit sometimes. I love the way she writes. I don't comment though because it seems silly since I've never even introduced myself. I don't know what Auntie Susan's house looks like now that it's all renovated. No idea. I see pictures of it and it looks totally strange to me. I hate that. I don't even know what Grandma's house in Martensville looks like. I still think of the big house in Osler with the basement when I think of her. I was at the other little one in Osler, but only once or twice. I haven't gone for fries with the girls in ages. I've never been to Becky's house. I don't know who Lisa married (except that if the name is an indication, he's gotta be great) or what Heather is doing now that she's not travelling the globe.

Sometimes I hate Facebook. I don't want 420 characters about what's going on with you. I want pages and pages. Novels. Write away, I love long posts. I love to write them and to read them. I'm all for this posting once a day thing. I hope everyone does it. I miss you all. And when I'm alone in my house with Peter gone and it's raining and I'm feeling sorry for myself, it helps to read about what you're all doing. Even if it's what you made for dinner. I love little details like that.

Here's mine for today. I want someone to come over and snuggle Bella so I can blow off some stress by cooking. I want to make chicken and shrimp with a lemon-dill-cream sauce over pasta. Maybe with some fresh tomatoes and green onions to garnish and some fresh shaved parmesan cheese. I relax by cooking. It's such a great outlet for me. It requres something of me, and I can concentrate and if I put enough pieces together, I can make something work. I can do something I haven't done before. When everything falls apart, this makes sense to me. And it makes something beautiful and tasty and comforting. Someone (probably on Food Network) said that food is the only art that appeals to every sense and I like that. I'm not very artistic, but I can tell you my five best meals and exactly what they looked, smelled, felt, tasted like. What they sounded like cooking. If I know Bella is being comforted by Peter or someone else she knows then I can put on head phones and relax. I can take a million little parts and make them all do one thing, make one thing. And when it's all on a plate then something inside me relaxes. It makes me feel like I can do the same thing with my life. Plus it's enjoyed with a glass of wine, and that always helps.

Come for dinner. Please?

5 Response to "I miss you."

  1. Becky Says:

    I wish I could come over. I would way rather hold Bella than cook. Tonight I'm having pop tarts for supper. And I don't even have any milk to go with them. (I do, however, have vodka. I wonder???)

  2. Melanie Says:

    I'm ordering in. From my moms. I wasn't brave enough to stay home alone tonight.
    Get yourself some Clamato and I'll come over for ceasars. mmmm....

  3. Unknown Says:

    I miss everyone, too. I wish that you could have come. I wish EVERYONE could have come. I wish Kyle could have come and finally seen where I grew up. I'm glad I got to go, but it wasn't long enough. I wish I could have stayed longer. I could hardly afford it in the first place, but I just knew that I had to be there. I'm also SO hoping for that family reunion. PLEASE... don't just be a rumor. I want this so bad. GOING FOR FRIES! Oh can we please do that sometime?

    Melanie I want to come over so bad! :( If I had a way to get there without Kyle, because our days off do NOT coincide any more. And... Kyle says that he's starting to feel sick now. :( CRAP! I'm finally feeling better and now he's sick. How I'd love to come and sit and snuggle Bella. And that chicken and shrimp stuff? Sounds SOOOO GOOD.

    I dunno about my blog posts but you can always count on my to write unnecessarily long comments.

  4. Margaret Says:

    I think that is a wish for many new Moms, but you adventure has been a little more bumpy than most new Mommies. The challenge of Bella's immune system being compromised adds an additional challenge to having someone come cuddle her. I can't come cuddle her, but I can, and do, pray for her and for you. I know it's not the same, but it's all I got. So I will do it.

  5. footsack Says:

    I'd come over today but I have to go and scoop poop. Sucky!